I've also submitted to beltings and whippings.I get excited when it feels like it might get out of hand. After a trulyabusive session, when you'd think I would have felt the worst, I insteadfeel relieved, relaxed and empowered. .In my case the ultimate cause of this masochism was inadequate fathering.My dad was an iron worker and I remember him mostly being too tired to doanything with us boys (except, significantly, the occasional spanking). Somany of the skills I needed to function socially as a boy (i.e. learn tothrow a ball, learn to ride a bike) I had to do the best I could on my own.When a cousin or a pal would help me learn these things, I would end uphaving a crush on him (what I really needed was a dad). Since spankingswere one type of interaction my dad did do, I ended up making this powerdisplay a central theme in my adult fantasy life. I thought that somehow,if my dad really whipped me hard (which he never did) it would somehow"make a man out of me."In the early sixties. The four padlocks locked all the buckles of the gag, two behind my head, one on the neck strap and one below my chin. Amanda locked them carefully in place and checked once more that the straps weren't too loose."I think you're about done," Amanda said as she stepped back to admire her work. I knew that she liked the sight of me so firmly gagged almost as much as I liked being so. "Now, stand up so we can get you ready for dinner."I stood up and she spun me around. She then untied the ropes from my wrists and let the clothes fall on the ground. I was now completely free aside from the gag, but the gag was so secure that I still felt very much under her control.She led me hastily to our bathroom and shoved me in. She didn't say a word as she closed and locked the door behind me. It had taken us quite awhile to manage to get the lock of the door reversed so that it was actually the person outside who was controlling the lock. Visitors often wondered why it was like that and we always.
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